Monday, 21 May 2012

Nothing really to report

Again, sorry about the silence on my end. I've been playing a LOT of video games(mostly Skyrim) to keep my mind off all the shit going on - it's helped distract me for at least a few days from all of this, so for that I'm thankful. 

I'm still speaking to Robert everyday via Skype. There's been hardly no change in him; in fact, he seems to be getting worse - it looks to me he's not eating, he's hardly slept in the last 3 days, and his appearance is just...awful. Dishevelled and wearing the same clothes. The damned notebook is almost full, he said. 

I've begged him - no, pleaded with him - to stop, but he still won't. He tells me that "He" will be coming for him as soon as the notebook is full, and there's nothing I or anyone else can do about it. He seems resigned that "He" will "get him and - do the things he puts in my dreams". I mean, this is some scary shit. I mean, this is happening to my best friend and there's nothing I can do about it. I feel so fucking hopeless - I've always been able to help SOMEONE in my life, but with something of this magnitude I can't do a whole lot of anything right now. 

He may be mad at me for this but I've told his parents and Lillith about his habits. They've tried to take the notebook away, get him to shower, convince him he's alright. They've even threatened to go to the police if he keeps up this behaviour; I know they mean well, but there's not much that they can do to really help Robert. He seems resigned to whatever fate he thinks awaits. 

I can't help but feel responsible; as Robert said in the car, this started with me and that fucking note. But, I told him - I didn't even think much about the note. It was just a note until someone recommended me to peruse the Web to see if there was any other similarities to me receiving one.  I'm hoping that he recovers, but at this point I doubt he will based on the experiences recorded by other people who've fallen into this. 

I'm going to keep in touch with Robert as long as I can, and help him as long as I can. But...I'm just so scared for him, for Lillith, for everyone involved in this fucked-up shit. 

I can't help but think I've damned my best friend and his family...

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