Saturday, 30 June 2012

The notebook + Lillith's condition

I do have some good news to report on Lillith - she's sleeping right now, so I'm finally able to write this up. Meant to yesterday but I was just so busy with her - and sorry, Internet, helping my dear friend/ex-girlfriend takes precedent over letting you know about it at that time. 

Anyway, the good news is that she is improving day by day. Yesterday, on her parents' advice, we ordered some Chinese food, which is her favourite - and she ate like a pig(no offence, Lillith). Considering that she's been subsisting on stale bread and water for the past month according to Bryan and her parents, it's a significant improvement over everything, even if only one time. 

She's also been sleeping much better - she told me that before I came over, she only slept for an hour or so a night - and, in context, it would explain her zombie-like state. Now, since I've been over, she's been sleeping a full 8 hours or more, just like me. I don't want to sound presumptuous or anything, but it seems that since I've been here, she's getting better. 

I really don't know what to make of it. She's obviously happy to see me and such, but - why would my presence inspire her to start getting back to normal? Either way, I'm not going to question it - I'm just happy that, slowly but surely, she's getting better. She's even told me that her crippling headaches and nosebleeds are starting to go away, which I am super thankful for. 

Though, through all the positive news, comes the negative; her notebook. She told me she's been keeping one, just like Robert, and just like he told me once upon a time, when she writes in it, her pain and the like goes away. From what I can gather from Lillith and I's conversations, it seems as though the notebooks act as a conduit of sorts - Lillith says that her headaches and pain start when "the Weaver" wants to get her attention, and stops or lessens when she writes or draws in her notebook. It's almost as if writing or drawing in it allows what it's saying to be expressed, and thus, it stops putting mental pressure(I would assume) onto her mind. 

I haven't looked at Lillith's notebook yet, and I'm rather reluctant to. I know that I have to, but I'm not sure what I'll find in there - she's been keeping this notebook longer then Robert, and I don't want to do anything that will jeopardize her and her recovery. 

I'll give it another day. Tomorrow, I'll look at the notebook - and I will post what I find in an entry here. 

Now, I think Lillith is up, so I need to go make her some breakfast. 


  1. Hey Smith, glad to hear Lillith's doing better. This might sound crazy, but I wondered if there's a chance you (like the notebook) are acting like a conduit, which is why she feels better when you're around? I hope not, but I thought I should mention it.
    Take care and stay safe. Jess.

  2. I've never actually thought of it that way.

    Do you think I could be some kind of counter due to me not seeing what she is?

  3. I'm really not sure. I think it could go either way really. Best bet is to stay strong and not give in to the urges to draw. Jess