Sunday, 3 June 2012

Going home tomorrow

I've asked Robert's parents if they want me to stay until after the funeral to help them around the house if they need it(as they aren't doing that well - can you blame them?) but they said there's no need since Lillith is back and is helping around the house. So, I'll be heading back home tomorrow - in a way, I'm looking forward to it, but in another way I'm not as there's still the matter of his family and how they're holding up.

Lillith is taking it the best. Well, "best" as in "she spends half her day crying before coming down from her room and helping me tidy up". Her boyfriend Bryan is coming down from Waterloo to stay with her so at least she won't be fully alone down here. 

Robert's parents, as I said, are taking it worse then Lillith. His father just...sits at the kitchen table and stares out the window - it's like he's waiting for someone who's not there. He's got an almost robotic voice to him now - when I knew him, he was a very passionate and spirited man. Now - it's like he's a ghost. As for his mother - well, I've hardly spoken to her since they got the news about Robert's autopsy. She just stays in the living room and reads the same romance novel over and over again. 

I guess people have different ways of coping, but it doesn't seem healthy to do what they're doing. However, it's not my place to judge - nor would I want to be in their shoes. I took it hard enough, losing my best friend. If he were family, well...I don't know what I'd do. I want to find justice for Robert, but part of me knows that true justice won't happen - even the police can't seem to find anything based on who did this. There's no finger-prints, no witnesses, nothing. All we have - sorry, had to go on - were those notebooks. But now they're gone too. 

I forgot to mention. Those CSIS agents came to visit yesterday, just after Robert's parents got back from a funeral home from coffin-shopping. They were polite, but stern. They said they needed to search Robert's room as "a matter of national security". National security, over one dead 19 year old? It was odd, but what could we say? "Hell no"? So, they searched for a good 20 minutes before coming down to the living room where I was with Robert's mother. The first one - he looked grizzled, at least 55 - asked in a very stern voice if they knew of any artwork or notebooks Robert kept. 

Robert's mother almost threw the notebook at him before I could say anything. He took it, read through it and showed it to his partner before putting the notebook into a plastic bag they brought with them. I asked them why they wanted the notebook; it might be the only lead into figuring out what happened to Robert. 

It was the second guy - he seemed to be in his 30's, much less grizzled - who said that the notebook needed to be destroyed as a "matter of national interest". Again with that "national security" stuff. We couldn't argue, and they took the notebook with them and left. 

I still don't know what to make of those two agents. Not my place to - but I wish we still had the damned notebook. I still had 30+ pages to go through. 

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