Sunday, 8 July 2012

Lazy days

I'm still recovering from Lillith's revelations from last night, but I think I'm starting to understand them alright. 

I need a break, though. All of this is starting to become overwhelming. I mean, I don't know what the fuck is wrong with me, but: 

-I'm sleeping 10-12 hours a day, and even then I'm still tired. It's like when you fall asleep and wake up in a flash; that's kind of how I sleep now a days. And even though, as I said, I still sleep 10-12 hours a day, I'm still too damned tired to do much. It's gotten worse the last couple of days. 

-The random moves. Yes, that still happens while I sleep. Just today I woke up on the floor by the front door when I fell asleep on the sofa. Nothing else out of the ordinary, no random scars or cuts or anything, but it's fucking creepy. 

-The broken pens. I've had to have broken at least 20 by now - every time I find one, I break it, as even LOOKING at the things makes me want to write shit down. It's almost like a compulsion except it's so strong it feels like someone's grabbing your hand and forcing pen to paper. 

-Hunger; it's fading. I eat maybe one meal a day now. 

I'll be back in a few days after I get my head straight. I plan on questioning Lillith further about what she's been keeping from me, too - so I'll put that up when I get back. 

P.S: Sleeping with a metal baseball bat isn't very comfortable.


  1. I should clarify, I do know what the fuck's going on - Tall, Dark and Scary is moving in on me. He's like a shark circling the waters - like he was in one of my dreams.

  2. Wooden baseball bats aren't much nicer, Mr. Smith.

    Be well. I hope it gets easier for you.

  3. Thank you, Lucia.

    Today's my grandmother's birthday - she's turning the big 86. Lillith and I are going to go celebrate with her and the rest of my family - it'll help keep shit at bay.

    I have to confess, that I'm getting worse. He comes in my dreams all the time now, and He likes to...boast, I suppose, about how vulnerable I really am.